I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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