Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
