She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
