the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
