Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
