oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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