Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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