It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
