Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
COCAINE IS GR8
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
