the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im holly from the hills drunk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
