I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
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