I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
