I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
