That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
