Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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