The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
