he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
