It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
