"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Floor bacon is actually really good
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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