Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
