Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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