This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
