Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
