youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
