so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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