Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
