now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
