I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
