Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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