I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
