his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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