remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
