yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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