He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
