batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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