I cannot find my penis.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
