I need help removing her.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he fucked my hip out of place.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
