Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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