so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
