This girl is more easily done than said...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
