she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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