The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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