My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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