ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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