Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize