I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Watching her eat just hurts me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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