No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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