he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
