the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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