I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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