she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
